How it all started…
“Notice of Resignation - Lauren Hawkins - February 8th, 2022”
I was a pretty smart kid.
I never really had to try too hard at school, I was one of those annoying kids that people would probably look at and think, ‘Lucky cow, it all comes so easy to her’.
I was top set for most subjects, English, Maths, Science, I was good at Art, enjoyed history, techie subjects weren’t difficult, I was okay at sports - I was never chosen last to be in a team.
This doesn’t mean I had an easy time though - bullying was something I endured all through primary and secondary school - but that’s a story for another time.
Being fairly academic and creative in school meant I had a tough time deciding what I wanted to do. There was a constant battle of what was the ‘right’ route to take.
Core subjects such as Maths had a way better job progression, and no one ever talked about becoming an Artist.
But I had that insistent craving to draw all the time. Most people at school probably knew me as ‘that Lauren girl who can draw’.
In the end, I decided Art was the route for me. But after a year-long Art foundation course, I steered away from drawing and painting, realised I had a knack for design, and chose to follow the more ‘progressive’ and socially accepted route and study Graphic Design.
3 years later, I had a bucket full of debt and some good skills under my belt, but I felt lost like I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to.
I worked for years in retail and hospitality jobs that would get me through uni, and pay for my rent, while I figured it all out.
I did a few hobby drawings in my spare time, a few of you who have followed me for a while might remember I even spent a few months in a tattooing apprenticeship, amongst many other things.
Fast-forward to 2019 and I worked in a customer-facing tech role. 9-5, at a desk all day, answering calls and sending emails. I wasn’t bad at it, because I wouldn’t allow myself to be (a perfectionist personality).
But again, I felt so lost. I couldn’t shift that underlying question mark like I wasn’t fulfilling my purpose.
I was drained, depressed and feeling like a complete sell-out.
In 2020, the pandemic hit. I had a lot more spare time on my hands. I’d do a little bit of drawing to pass the time. A couple of small commissions here and there, but never really pushed it further because, well, why would I?
The voices in my head would tell me to “stay in your lane… do the corporate job… You couldn’t be an artist… You’re not good enough”
And then I came across… the Milan’s.
After scanning Pinterest for new artwork inspo one evening, I discovered Dimitra Milan and her beautiful oil paintings of women’s faces alongside their spirit animals.
I was hooked.
I would practice painting over and over, trying to copy her style. I found Elli’s page, and Dalia’s. I’d collect screenshots of their artwork and collate them into a sketchbook-turned-scrapbook.
I found myself so inspired and excited to get home from work, to climb onto my bed with a pair of scissors and glue, to cut and stick and marvel at their work in awe.
I started taking on new commissions; I would try and emulate elements of Elli and Dimitra’s paintings in my own.
I took on more pet portraits, created a Christmas watercolour collection, created a painting of Taipei City in Taiwan (that then became a sweet little bestseller), painted a piece for a nail salon, and started my print store.
There was this new fire in my belly, a passion had been reignited and I knew what I was supposed to be doing.
Less than a year later, I quit my 9-5 to finally pursue my dream of becoming a full-time artist…
And then shit got real…
Want to be the first to receive these posts straight to your mailbox?
Check out the Taipei artwork for yourself, she’s still one of my faves 🥰
