Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening…

If someone asked you what their worst trait was, you’d hesitate and most likely wouldn’t want to answer, right?
Because chances are, if you had love for them, you would find it really hard to come up with an answer, let alone say it to their face.
But why is it, that when it comes to ourselves, we could probably name something instantly?
Maybe you even have a list of things you’re not satisfied with.
There’s always that one thing we hate about ourselves and wish we could change.
In fact, most of us talk ourselves down all of the time.

**Can you notice my biggest insecurity?**
No?
The world probably doesn’t even notice yours either.
But the more you fixate on yours?
**You are manifesting that negative energy in every aspect of your life.**

This week was self-portrait week.

And it was very difficult because not only am I tackling a portrait, I’m staring at myself in the mirror for 90 mins.

I had to try and focus on staying in my right-brain, whilst avoiding the self-critical mindset 🤣

In fact, now you’ve seen my drawing you’ll probably notice my biggest insecurity…

A self-portrait is usually met by some resistance from every artist. Very often, an artist will distort their portrait subconsciously.

If you dislike something about yourself, you’ll emphasise it in the drawing.

Make your mouth really small if you feel like your voice isn’t supposed to be heard…

Make your nose look huge if you think you have a big nose…

And yep, with that forehead, I’ve made myself look like Ant McPartlin’s love child.

I thought drawing from a posed and approved photo would be easier…
It’s a bit better, no obvious distortions here, but the proportions are all over the shop 🤣

Still, I went into the painting task of the week with an open mind.

Started with a selfie I was happy with and a sketch.

As instructed, I then blocked in the values next with a ‘radiant underpainting’.

This actually looks pretty cool at this stage.

Next was the subtraction stage, where I coated the whole canvas with a dark neutral and then started to subtract out the highlights and midtones, and glazing in some colour tones.

It started off okay…

But, I made myself look 10 years older with those deep as f nasolabial folds 😅

I never actually finished this piece.

I was taking too long, and I needed to move on to the next week’s lessons.

But it’s ok - I felt like I learned a lot and decided maybe I would come back to it another day. Maybe I will finish painting it and gift it to my Mum or Nanna or something 😆

There are tons of things I would change about these pieces, and myself.

But my goal is no longer perfection.

I’ve got to the point now where it doesn’t even matter that I’m not happy with the outcome anymore.

What is important, is that every day I am growing, trying and pushing my limits so that eventually, I will reach mastery.

Within my art, but also within myself.

Who cares if it’s not perfect?

I just want to be better than I was yesterday.

I want to end this post by sharing some interesting science with you Lauren…

One of my favourite podcasts was with a man named, Mo Gawdat.

He explained something that I heard last year that has had a profound impact in my life.

Do you know what neuroplasticity is?

Our brains are crazy clever.

When you think about something over and over again, your brain does this thing where it thinks, ah Lauren wants to be thinking about this thing, so I will make it easier for them.

Like when you learn to drive - changing gears requires a lot of thought at first, but in the end, it becomes a robotic and unconscious process.

So does self-critical thinking.

If you continually think negatively about yourself, fixate on your flaws, your shortcomings - the neuropathways in your brain will make it easier to bring those negative thoughts in each time.

The good news?

It works both ways.

If you consistently start thinking positively about yourself, write down all your best traits, spend time each day thinking of your proudest moments, your strengths, what you’re grateful for - your brain will help you do the rest.

Neuroplasticity.

We got this 😉

Remember; watch how you are talking to yourself, because you are listening… 🧡

Link to the podcast with the legend that is Mo Gawdat - here 🥰

Want to catch up on previous blog posts? Don’t forget they are now all available to read here 🥰

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